give me the beat boys and free my soul
by kingslayers
Summary: He thinks he could get lost in the rock'n'roll of Lily Evans, with her bright hair and eyes, laugh like his favourite songs and penchant for jumping into trucks with runaway girls and never looking back. / James Potter asks himself who he is. —james potter falls into life, love and rock'n'roll. jily, muggle!au/roadie!au


**written for:** the otp!au competition iii; round one. ROADIE!AU + jily.

 **notes:** this is a roadie!au, bc that was my prompt, and fair warning—i have never been a roadie lmao so i'm taking some liberties with this ahaha. and also i haven't actually written something and published it for like a year (my last update was to my drabble collection but the drabble had already been written a while ago) so just? heads up and i'm super sorry if this is really bad and rusty, eek. also, as a roadie!au, i elected to make it a muggle!au, but it's not a modern!au—same time setting as the marauders would have been. that's the aim, anyway—if there are any details wrong, i am very sorry. x

 **warnings:** swearing, copious references to various types of rock'n'roll music. implicit reference to dissociative identity disorder (referred to as 'multiple personality disorder' due to the time this was set—the name was only changed in the 90s—jsyk).

 **disclaimer:** disclaimed.

* * *

oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul

i wanna get lost in your rock 'n' roll

and drift away

 _drift away_ —dobie gray

* * *

James is fourteen years old when he falls in love with rock'n'roll.

He stitches a _The Who_ patch onto the sleeve of his favourite jacket, scrawls Dobie Gray lyrics on his arms and proclaims Cat Stevens as the King of Soft Rock to anyone who'll listen.

When he's seventeen, he falls into _The Clash_ , _Aerosmith_ and _The Rolling Stones_ , but can also sing along to every _Lynyrd Skynyrd_ song released and learns how to play _Fleetwood Mac_ 's 'Landslide' by virtue of listening to it over and over until his mother warns him his ears will bleed. He declares allegiance to Jimi Hendrix, the only sovereignty he will accept in the realm of guitar, and still insists that Cat Stevens is the King of Soft Rock.

On the fourteenth of July the following year, when James is eighteen, three things of life-altering importance occur:

1) _The Who_ releases their single 'Who Are You?'

2) Marlene McKinnon, one of his childhood best friends, turns eighteen and drives away from her boarding school with nothing more than a beat-up truck and a redhead in her passenger seat.

3) _The Phoenix_ plays a set at HQ, a venue three towns over from James' hometown, Godric's Hollow.

x

The first to find out, of course, is Emmeline.

Emmeline Vance has known James since he was a child—the only friend he's had longer is Marlene, who brought the two of them together. He spends most of his time with the Marauders nowadays, but he and Emmeline are still close, and always do something on Marlene's birthday that she will enjoy—both to celebrate her, and in the hope that she might be allowed to come home that year and celebrate _with_ them. Emmeline is also the most observant, cunning, brisk and capable person James knows, so he is never surprised to find her three steps ahead of everyone else. Today is no exception.

When Emmeline arrives, he's sitting at the kitchen bench, eating a sandwich as Sirius lounges in the kitchen. Sirius has lived with James since they were sixteen, and there is not a single day that James doesn't feel grateful for the fact that his best friend lives with him instead of his awful family.

"James!" Emmeline calls, striding through his house. He jerks his head up, glancing at her in askance as she comes through the corridor into the kitchen. "C'mon," she continues briskly. "We're off."

"Where?" he asks, even as he slides off his stool and shoves the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

"HQ," she answers. " _The Phoenix_ is playing, and it's Marls' birthday. It's perfect." She tilts her head to the side, listening to the slight strains of radio before walking over and turning the volume up. Roger Daltrey's voice comes streaming through, and all three teenagers stand entirely still as they let the newest single from _The Who_ wash over them.

James keeps turning the lyrics over in his mind—they're like an epiphany, or a challenge, he can't decide which. Who _is_ James Potter, he finds himself wondering, for possibly the first time in his life. Some people have existential crises because of the meaningless of life; James has his because music, the language of his soul, asks him the one question that hits him right at his core and he can't answer. So, in that moment, he pledges to.

Emmeline is the one to break the silence of the awe that filled the room as the last chords of 'Who Are You?' faded away.

"HQ," she repeats. "It's imperative."

James shrugs and pulls on his jacket. Sirius looks hesitant.

"You can come," Emmeline allows, rolling her eyes. James gets it, though. This is something he does with Emmeline, and it's about their childhood with Marlene—Sirius knows Marlene, and he knows Emmeline too, but this is not something he's a part of, and James understands why he isn't sure where the lines are drawn here. Still, James loves Sirius, and if Emmeline says he can come, then James is all for it.

Sirius glances at James, and whatever he sees in his eyes must reassure him, because he relaxes, eyes crinkling as he grins. "Let me grab a jacket," he says, and heads off to grab it.

x

They arrive at HQ to a loud crowd. Emmeline, tiny as she is, determinedly shoves forward into the crowd until James catches up with her, stepping in front of her to clear her way.

"I'm bigger than you," he says when he sees her glare. "This makes sense and you know it." She harrumphs, but doesn't argue, so he counts it as a win.

Sirius comes up behind them, hands in his pockets. "The bartender says they're coming on in a few," he says loudly, to be heard over the crowd. "Apparently their roadies and techies are still sorting shit out, and there's a surprise guest for the band." He shrugs. "About two more songs from this wanker, and then they'll be up."

James looks up at the wanker in question, and snorts. _Wanker_ is right. Amos Diggory went to school with them and James can't say he's ever been fond of the boy—not a bad person so much as an irritating one.

Emmeline scowls up at Diggory. "Pretentious twat," she mutters. Sirius snorts.

"Shitty taste in music too," he remarks as Diggory starts crooning one of Celestina Warbeck's new ballads.

"I'll say," Emmeline agrees. "I'm going to need a drink to get through this."

"I'll get it," James volunteers, slipping between his friends to head to the bar. By the time he returns, three beers in hand, Diggory is off and the lights are dimmed as _The Phoenix_ takes the stage. Handing a beer to each of his friends, James inhales sharply—

Then the beat begins, and James is exhaling, being swept away by the sound. It's like his blood is electric, sparking like a wire—there's something about rock'n'roll that just makes him come alive, and when he looks around as he drums his heart out through his feet, he gets the feeling he's not the only one afflicted by this grip of music on his soul.

Then, suddenly, he is dimly aware of a sharp intake of breath, and Sirius tapping on his shoulder. Emmeline stops spinning for a moment to follow Sirius' line of sight with James, and then suddenly James' eyes are on two girls: one with the prettiest hair James has ever _seen_ , and the other—

"Marlene!" Emmeline shouts, suddenly tearing her way through the crowd at the sight of her friend, James and Sirius hot on her heels.

Marlene's face had been tilted to the side, saying something to the redhead, but James sees the moment she hears her name, sees the recognition on her face as she turns her head, sees the second her face splits into the grin he'd missed dearly over the years—James _sees_ her, with _The Phoenix_ playing a cover of 'Sweet Home Alabama' in the background, and thinks to himself that this homecoming is better than he could have ever imagined.

Grinning at them, Marlene flings herself at them with reckless abandon, throwing herself into Emmeline's arms in a whirlwind of limbs and laughter and incoherent babbling. By the time James is close enough to hear them, the two girls are both laughing and crying, holding each other tightly. It makes James smile—these two have always been the toughest girls he knows, but Marlene has always been impulsive and emotional, as fierce in her loving as she is in her fighting, and Emmeline has always had a soft spot for the two kids who opened their arms and hearts to her when she first moved to their town as a little girl. Something about the way they're clutching each other in joy makes James feel like he's at home.

Then Marlene catches sight of him and her eyes widen, right before she launches herself at him and flings her arms around his neck.

"James, fuck, it's really you, this is the best birthday ever—" she's saying, and he hugs her back just as tightly, grinning down into her hair as she fits herself back into his arms like she never left. He presses a kiss into her hair before pulling back slightly to beam at her.

"Happy Birthday, Marls," he says, and he's so happy, because he's got his oldest friend back, and his second-oldest friend is beaming like he hasn't seen her do for years, and his best friend—his soulmate, his brother; all three terms are equally applicable, in James' opinion—is at his back, and there's an amazing band playing one of his favourite songs in the background.

Marlene laughs at his birthday greeting, and presses a grinning kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, JP," she responds cheerfully, before glancing at Sirius, who's standing behind Emmeline.

"Sirius!" she greets with a wide grin, detangling herself from James and darting over to the boy in question, hugging him quickly.

"Hey, punk," he says with a fond smile, hugging her back before taking a lock of her hair to play with. "It's so short," he marvels, which James thinks is an exaggeration—it's just above her shoulders, and edgy, and James likes it a lot—but he gets it; he still remembers the long tresses she used to have.

Marlene shrugs. "School was pissed," she says with a wicked grin.

The redhead—she must have arrived when James was hugging Marlene, because he hadn't noticed her there—speaks up, smirking at Marlene. "That was your primary motivation for doing it," she teases, and Marlene grins at her.

"Damn straight," she says with a laugh. "Guys, this is Lily—I hopped in my truck today, because they can't keep me without my permission now that I'm eighteen, and Lil elected to come with me." Her grin is crooked as she says this, but James can't help the stab of anger in his gut at the fact that Marlene had been kept away from them against her will for so long.

Emmeline and Sirius look at Lily, surveying her critically. James is mostly trying to get his heart to beat less erratically, but she's _really_ pretty up close. He's never seen eyes that green before.

"Hi," Emmeline finally says, somewhat coolly. "My name is Emmeline."

Marlene rolls her eyes. "Don't be assholes, guys; she's nice, I promise."

Sirius does not relent. Emmeline arches an eyebrow at Marlene, who makes a face at them and then looks pleadingly at James.

"Hi," he says automatically, shoving his hand in front of him and barely missing socking Lily in the stomach. He hears Marlene groan slightly and Sirius stifle a snort, but he tries to ignore that. "I'm James."

Lily looks apprehensively at his hand for a moment, as if he's about to make another near-hit to her stomach, but eventually takes it in her own. It's soft, he thinks, and small. Cool to the touch, but his skin is always warm, and it feels soothing.

"Lily," she says with a small smile. "Nice to meet you."

Sirius clearly takes James' actions as a cue, because he only regards Lily for a few moments more before shifting slightly. "Sirius," he drawls.

Lily opens her mouth, but right at that moment, the song changes and suddenly the music is deafening.

"All right!" shouts the lead singer, over top of the music. "My name is Benjy Fenwick, and we are _THE PHOENIX_. Special shoutout to my girl Marlene on her eighteenth—let's blow the roof off for her!"

James suddenly turns on Marlene. "YOU KNOW THE BAND?" he shouts to be heard over the din.

"YEAH," Marlene replies. "MET THEM YEARS BACK."

It gets too loud to keep shouting after that, and they're covering one of James' favourites, _The Who_ 's 'Won't Get Fooled Again', so James just loses himself in the beat, screaming the lyrics along with the rest of the crowd and dancing with his friends.

x

"No shit!" Benjy is laughing, slapping his thigh as Marlene nods emphatically. "That's epic, McKinnon," he says with a fond smile, before glancing at James. "Marlene tells me you guys didn't even know she was going to be here," he says with an easy grin. "Pretty fucking cool coincidence, I reckon."

Emmeline shrugs. "We do it every year—celebrate Marls' birthday by doing something she'd love. I knew she'd love this."

"And then she was actually _there_ ," Gideon says, shaking his head incredulously. "McKinnon, you're something magical."

Marlene blows him a kiss, before winking at Mundungus, the lead guitarist and Benjy's best friend. He makes a grumpy face at her, but James would have to be blind not to recognise the underlying fondness. Marlene has always had a knack for carving a niche for herself wherever the world throws her.

"He and Gideon have a thing," Emmeline supplies softly. Sirius stares at her in disbelief.

"How on earth...?" he begins. "We only just met them!"

James shares Sirius' reaction. Emmeline may be the most observant person he knows, but that's a bit ridiculous.

Emmeline shakes her head. "Caradoc—one of the techies—told me," she says with a shrug. "Good observation skills. And hair," she tacks on, looking thoughtful.

James raises an eyebrow at her. Emmeline does not give compliments lightly, and two—especially one as prized to her as observational skills—occurring within minutes of meeting someone is an entirely unprecedented situation. She takes a few moments to notice, and then throws him a deeply unimpressed look. It would affect him more if he wasn't in shock from the fact that it took _multiple moments_ for her to notice his expression. Caradoc, whomever he is, James thinks to himself, must be one astounding lad to make such an impact on Emmeline.

Lily, perched on the sofa arm right next to James, nudges him. "I gather she's not always so loose with compliments?" she asks with a slight smile.

James grimaces. "Hardly—it wasn't personal, her greeting to you. She's just taking your measure. But hey, sounds like you've got her measure—you must be decent at observation too?" he suggests.

Lily laughs, and it's heartier than his neighbour, Mary's, but not as throaty as Marlene's. Whatever it is, it's musical, and James is suddenly thinking of 'Drift Away' by Dobie Gray, and lyrics he scrawled all over his arms when he was fourteen. He thinks he could get lost in the rock'n'roll of Lily Evans, with her bright hair and eyes, laugh like his favourite songs and penchant for jumping into trucks with runaway girls and never looking back.

"Nah, Marly told me about you guys," she says, grinning. She glances at Marlene, and her smile fades slightly, and she looks down at her hands.

"What is it?" James asks her quietly.

Lily looks up at him, and whatever she was about to say—James suspects some sort of fob off—dies on her lips as she locks eyes with him. She sighs. "I just—she looks so happy here, surrounded by you all again, and so I'm sad she was pulled away from you... but I'm also really not, because she was my best friend when I really needed someone." She looks at him hesitantly. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"Nah," James says, not hesitating for a second. "'Course not. I missed her, of course, and Emmeline did dearly as well, not to mention the other assholes, but—" James breaks off. "I'm glad you had her," he says finally. "She will be too—she's always wanted to take care of her own, and that means you too."

Lily smiles at him, and James feels something big and heavy unfurl in his chest.

His attention is diverted from the way the light catches her eyes by loud voices, and he and Lily both glance over to the other couch, where Marlene, Sirius and Emmeline are deeply engrossed in a discussion with Benjy that seems to involve a lot of nodding and occasional shoving of each other by Sirius and Marlene.

James glances at Lily, who shrugs at him, so they move in tandem towards the others.

"What's up, guys?" James asks, and they all look up at him—Benjy frazzled yet excited, Emmeline distractedly, Sirius with a wink when he sees how close James is standing to Lily, and Marlene with a beam.

"How'd you guys feel about touring?" Marlene asks.

x

They're called _The Order of the Phoenix_ , but just The Order for short.

"Some music reporter," Marlene answers with a shrug when Sirius asks how they got dubbed that. The Order refers to the entire road crew—the five of them from that first night at the gig; Dorcas, a year older than them and an old friend of Benjy's; Caradoc, the techie with whom Emmeline was so taken, and who _does_ have good hair but even better wit; Edgar, a bird-enthusiast techie whose best friend Ted occasionally visits; Frank, the stage manager for all of their shows; Alice, his fiancée, whose primary responsibility is to make sure the boys don't leave any stuff behind; even Remus and Peter, whom James picked up the night of the show, when he went back to pack a backpack and tell his mother he loved her—as well as the band themselves.

The boys are called techies and the girls are called roadies, even though they're all the road crew. It doesn't make much sense to James, especially when they're not even all techies. Peter is Frank's assistant, Remus is in charge of liaising with locations and venues—he works with Lily sometimes, and they get along great, which James tells himself to be chill about, because it's not as if he has any sort of _claim_ on her, because that would be gross and creepy, and also apparently reminiscent of the shitty behaviour Lily's ex-best friend possessed, according to Marlene—Caradoc and Edgar deal with most of the actual tech, Sirius is specifically Mundungus' guitar techie, and James alternates between helping Gideon with the bass and the girls with the rest of the stuff. Fabian, their drummer, doesn't need much help, but if he does, they always send Dorcas anyway, because she's the best at getting him to behave.

Lily deals with the vehicles, in terms of making sure both road buses are correctly equipped and with getting them places, which is why she works closely with Remus sometimes; Emmeline, organisational wonder that she is, deals with logistics and scheduling for everyone, which sometimes includes delegating for gig setup—James doesn't know how she does it—and Marlene, occasionally backed up by Dorcas, is on band-wrangling and is in charge of merch, which James often helps her sell, usually alongside the other girls.

It's a great life, James thinks, after three months on the road and countless sore throats from screaming himself hoarse along to his favourite songs.

x

James finds himself talking more and more to Lily, who, to his delight, seems to enjoy chatting with him too.

Unlike Dorcas, who managed to get Emmeline to take to her immediately—and vice versa, though James is rather of the opinion that it's due to their similarly blunt and brisk demeanours as opposed to anything Lily could have done that night—it takes Lily longer to get Emmeline to open up to her, but now the four girls all hang out frequently.

"I've never had this many friends before," she confides in him in him while they're washing the dishes, the sound of Dorcas and Benjy singing together in the background—it's been happening more and more, recently. James is just waiting for Dorcas to finally give in to the band's pleadings and feature in a few songs in one of their sets. They'd finally be able to fulfill Lily's request of singing _The Runaways'_ 'Cherry Bomb', which James would be _so down_ for. "Like, actual friends, who I can talk to at night and trust with things—it's always been Marlene, and..." she trails off, but James knows better than to push. At least, not yet. "I love it," she says, abandoning her sentence altogether.

James grins at her and flicks some suds at her. "I knew you could make a friend, Evans," he teases in a mock-solemn tone. "Always had faith." He grins again, and adopts a more sincere tone. "Seriously, though, Lil, I'm stoked you're happy."

She beams up at him, and leans against his chest when Alice comes in with her Polaroid camera; he normally pins the photos up to the wall beside his bed, but this one, he keeps in his wallet, between the photo of him as a kid with Marlene and Emmeline, and the one of him and the Marauders. He tries not to think about why.

x

It's a late night on tour, and James finds himself padding over to where Marlene's perched on the roof of the venue _The Phoenix_ played at that particular evening, looking out over the city.

She glances up at him, and smiles softly. "Hey, Cap," she says.

He rolls her eyes. "We haven't been on the same football team for years," he points out, smiling fondly at the memories.

Marlene shakes her head and grins. "Doesn't matter—you're always going to be my captain."

He sits down next to her, nudging her lightly with his shoulder. "And you'll always be my star chaser," he says, referring to what they used to call her. She's always been the fastest of them, and he's glad to see the years haven't taken that away from her, though it still saddens him to think that now, instead of running to something, she's learnt how to use her speed to run away.

She smiles up at him, snuggling closer to him. "I missed you," she admits, voice cracking. "All of you."

James' heart stutters. Marlene McKinnon was his very first friend, and he hates that he hasn't been there for her as much as he wanted—not through any fault of theirs, but because she was taken from him. The two kids on the block that looked different from everyone else and were determined to shine just as brightly—they'd always had each others' backs, until one day, they weren't able to anymore.

Still, she's back now, and he's not going to let her go anytime soon. None of them are.

He presses a kiss to her hair. "Love you long time, Marly," he says softly, holding her close. She and Emmeline have been his constants for so long—they're not Sirius, but they're still the kids who have loved him longest, and he is incapable of not holding that tightly to his chest, just as he's holding her now.

"There you are," Emmeline says, suddenly standing beside them. She appraises them critically. Marlene laughs.

"Get in here, Vance," she says with a grin, wresting one arm from beneath James' hold to tug her close.

Emmeline smiles, and sits on Marlene's other side, wrapping one arm around the girl as James extends his arm to include Emmeline in his hold as well.

"Love you too," Marlene says, looking up at James with a cheeky smile. "Both of you."

James, for the first time in a long time, feels utterly at peace.

x

"Don't be arrogant," Lily admonishes him, and he pulls a face at her.

"Aw, come on, Evans—" he begins, before being cut off by Lily.

" _Drop it_ ," she snarls, and stalks off. He stares after her open-mouthed. She's never reacted like that before, at least not so early on in the conversation; still, he gets it. They've all been up for hours, one of the tyres had to be replaced—so more work for Lily, contacting the tow services and organising a temporary replacement—and nobody's eaten. Still, it bothers him.

He goes up to her, and she bristles. "I thought I told you to leave me alone," she grumbles at him in annoyance.

He shrugs. "I ignored that," he says nonchalantly. "Wanted to know if anything was up."

"Er, yeah," she says sarcastically. "This asshole keeps following me around and doing thick things."

James knows she doesn't mean it—or at least, he hopes—but it still kind of stings. Still, he perseveres, because he wouldn't be James Potter if he didn't.

"C'mon, Lil, you can tell me," he cajoles. Unfortunately, Lily's eyes darken.

"There's nothing to tell!" she insists. "I just want you to leave off," she says, before stalking off to the girls' room, so he can't follow her.

James is left there, trying to work out how to help someone who declares they don't need nor want your help—and also, trying to work out whether he's an imposition, because the last thing he wants to do is make things worse.

x

And so begins the back and forth that characterises James and Lily in the weeks to come; sometimes friends, sometimes not, with James throwing himself into every interaction with reckless abandon, and Lily retreating on occasion, armed with her wit.

"What," Remus finally asks, one night in the guys' room on the bus, "is your endgame here, James?"

James isn't sure, and he means to say something to that effect, but what comes out instead is much different. "I think I'm falling in love with her," he says in astonishment.

Sirius falls out of his bed, and Peter on top of him.

"You what?" Sirius splutters, and Remus gives him a measured look.

"I still love you best, you prat, don't worry about that," James assures him distractedly, running his epiphany through his head over and over again. "I just—oh, fuck," he curses, glancing over at the wall beside his bed, which is covered with polaroids from the last few months; a particularly high number feature a flash of red hair and some brilliant green eyes.

Peter glances at his wall and whistles. "Jamesy-boy, I think you've got it bad."

James nods numbly, looking at the photos again. "Yeah. _Fuck_."

x

James—very clumsily—attempts to ask Lily out a total of three times before giving up.

1) He starts serenading her with _The Eagles_ ' 'Best Of My Love', but she thinks it's a joke and the entire situation devolves into him chasing her around the complex, shouting lyrics at her as she dodges him, throwing obstacles in his way and laughing. He supposes he's glad she found it amusing, because she's been less happy recently, though it takes Sirius laughing at him for three hours to come to this conclusion.

2) He tries to invite her on a walk and instead ends up pledging to go mountaineering with Edgar. Marlene and Caradoc join Sirius in laughing this time.

3) He orders her a special cake—coffee and walnut, her favourite, with cream cheese icing—to be delivered, with a message about attending a local Bread-day at their next tour stop; the bakery, unfortunately, misinterprets the order, and the message invites her to his birthday, which ends up with him saying his birthday is in about four months, in March, and that he was just giving her advance notice. By this point, pretty much everyone is laughing at him.

After the cake fiasco, James resolves to just let it be—him asking her out is clearly an unsuccessful venture, so he'll stop, but maybe she'll ask him one day.

x

It all comes to a head towards the end of tour.

Marlene and James are manning the merch table when she suddenly whips her head around, narrowing her eyes at a certain figure. "Fuck, oh, man, I can't _believe_ him," she mutters, and James cranes his neck to see who she's talking about.

There's a guy—probably about their age—with a hooked nose, sallow skin and dark, dank hair. His eyes are small and beady, and his clothes are dark as well. He puts James on edge, though he's not sure if that's because the man is inherently creepy or because of Marlene's reaction.

"Who is he?" James asks quietly.

"That," Marlene says, her voice shaking with something like cold fury, "is the utter fucking _asshole_ who was meant to be Lily's best friend and then broke her fucking heart."

James eyes him dubiously. "He broke her heart?" he asks, aware there's some disbelief in his tone, but he can't help it—Lily is so beautiful, inside and out, and this guy... well, he's definitely not on the outside.

Marlene locks her eyes on James'. "There's more than one way to get your heart broken," she says softly, in the kind of tone that has images flashing in James' head—memories of Marlene being driven away, her face devastated as she watches him and Emmeline wave at her, running down the driveway with tears running down their faces; memories of Sirius' face every day at the time he realised he had to head back to his family, before he moved in with James; memories of Emmeline sobbing into his chest as he and Marlene held her, aged ten, when her father passed away; memories of Peter and the way his face completely shatters and then shuts down every time his mother praises his friends with no words for him; memories of the self-deprecating smile that twists itself on Remus' face whenever anyone mentions "being schizo" or makes any sort of reference to multiple personality disorder—and he suddenly gets it, because if anyone has the power to break his heart, it's his friends.

"Ah," he says, and something soft flashes across Marlene's face, before concern slides on.

"Lily's coming," she says. "Can you be here for her to talk to? I'm going to try see what that asshole fuck thinks he's doing here."

At his nod, she disappears. A second later, Lily pops up.

"Hey, James," she says, nodding at him. He grins. Ever since their arguments started, she'd been calling him Potter more and more, so he's always pretty thrilled when she calls him James.

"Hey, Lil," he says, and he's about to say something else when suddenly a shadow looms over them.

"Lily," a voice is saying desperately, "oh, Lily, please, please—"

Lily jerks back in horror, looking all the more panicked by the second. James sees Marlene shove past some guy and pull the speaker back, so he's away from Lily.

"Let _go_ of me, McKinnon," he growls, and Marlene shakes her head, gritting her teeth.

"Not a fucking chance, asshole," she promises, clutching him all the more tighter.

Sirius shows up at that point and helps her out, grasping his other arm as James heads over to stand by Lily.

"Replaced me all ready?" the guy says, a bitter smile on his face.

Marlene shoves him in the back. "She doesn't owe you anything, Snape," she spits, "and I promise you, she and James are nothing like you two. For one thing, James isn't against who she is."

James is aghast, as well as flummoxed, because he simply can't understand what there is about Lily to be _against_ ; she's not a saint, or anything, but he can't think of anything that one could possibly be opposed to.

"I wasn't!" Snape howls, and Marlene gives him an incredulous look. She's opening her mouth when Lily beats her to the punch.

"Oh, really?" she asks. "You mean, you _weren't_ part of a campaign that would get me kicked out?"

"I asked for an exception for you," Snape insists, and if anything, Lily looks even more furious.

"So, what, scholarship kids as an entity aren't good enough for your school, but I can stay because I was meant to be your friend?" she demands.

"Newsflash, asshole," Marlene says. "Real friends support who you are in your _entirety_ , not only as exceptions to the discriminatory rule."

There's clapping behind Marlene, and James looks at three tall males. Beside Marlene, Sirius has gone ramrod straight.

"Bravo, girls," a silky voice says, and James suddenly remembers who he is—Lucius Malfoy, Sirius' cousin-in-law. He clenches his fist. "Don't you think, Travers?" Lucius continues.

"Real class act," Travers responds, before nudging the third one. "Isn't that right, Mulciber?"

Mulciber bares his teeth. "Oh, yes," he says coldly.

Marlene is unrepentant. "I am requesting you leave the premises," she informs the three of them with a beatific smile.

"See, we can't do that," Travers says, "because you've got our boy Sev there, you know?"

"You and the traitor," Lucius says coolly. James' fists clench.

"Don't call him that," Lily says, half a beat before James can.

"Don't tell him what to do, trailer trash!" Mulciber snarls, looking for all the world like he's going to throw himself at Lily. To her endless credit, she does not flinch or give an inch, and James is always amazed by Lily Evans, but particularly in that moment.

James, however, is also furious. So he shoots forward and pushes Mulciber back, standing in front of Lily. Mulciber is enraged, James can see it, but Travers laughs.

"Trailer trash bitch got herself a dog," he muses. " _Woof_."

"She is none of those things," James says coldly, "and more to the point, she can take care of herself. I just _want_ to help her, because she's my friend—because she's more worthwhile of a person than you three will ever be."

"I agree," a new voice says from behind them, and James turns slightly to see Aberforth Dumbledore, the owner of the venue. "Now get the fuck out of my building," he says to the three men. "That one too," he adds to Marlene and Sirius, looking at Snape with distaste.

Marlene drops his limb immediately and Sirius shoves him towards the door. The other three seem to be debating something, so Aberforth clears his throat. "Very well," Lucius says smoothly. "We shall. I cannot abide locations with such poor calibre entertainers and staff as this... quaint place, anyhow."

"Good riddance," Aberforth says unrepentantly, waving as the three scowling men head off, following Snape.

x

"Hey."

James looks up in surprise. "Hey, Lil, what's up?"

Lily smiles, and walks over, sitting down beside him. "I, uh. I wanted to say thank you. You know. For before. With..."

"I get it," James says quickly. He has no desire to make her relive that experience, even in her memories. "You're welcome, but honestly, it was no big."

Lily nods, and is quiet for a few moments. Then—

"Emmeline and Sirius mentioned it to me," she says quietly. "That, uh. The singing and mountains and cake were all attempts at asking me out—though I honestly have no idea how they went so terribly," she says with a laugh.

James swallows, and looks at her self-consciously, hand running through his hair. She notices, and catches it, claiming it with her own.

"I'm not—" she starts, before taking a deep breath and starting again. "James Potter," she asks, grinning up at him, nervous but also determined, and James doesn't know if he's ever seen anything more beautiful. "Would you like to go out with me some time?"

There's a grin spreading across his face before he even answers the question.

x

James is sitting on the bus, Lily tucked up against his chest, as the group travels to the next city. As they do so, the radio starts playing 'Who Are You?' by _The Who_ , and he suddenly remembers the day that started it all, and how this song asked him the one question he didn't know how to answer: who _is_ James Potter?

He thinks he knows now. He is someone whose heart has only ever been broken by his friends, a boy with lyrics scrawled on his arms and old band patches on his favourite jackets; he knows every _Lynyrd Skynyrd_ lyric ever, and gives speeches about Cat Stevens' deserved title of King of Soft Rock. He loves his friends, and being part of The Order, and he intends to marry Lily Evans one day, if she's all right with that. He even knows what he'll tell her, should the day ever come: _I am hopelessly lost in the rock'n'roll of you, and I want to drift away in it for the rest of my life._

He is James Potter, and he's in love with rock'n'roll.

* * *

 **a/n 2.** okay i wrote most of this in one go and it's now 6am so here's hoping it's all right; either way, i hope you enjoyed. i'd really appreciate a review, if you've read this far, and please no favourites without reviewing. xo


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